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Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has always been the safe haven in everyday journalism, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, especially in relation to football. It was quite amusing to discover that an online journalist a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom somewhat too seriously, and had to be saved from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss against Fleetwood Town. “He had no shoes on and misplaced his cellphone and his cap,” stated an official from the local fire department. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to access the restrooms back in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with the Manchester Evening News. “Subsequently he wandered through the school acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned from the England national team after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the historic stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his confidential FA records, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies located him seated – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to salvage the situation.

“Where on earth could we find for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A significant event in English football's extensive history took place in the vintage restrooms of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Results

Consequently, Keegan quit, subsequently confessing he considered his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably over the past twenty-five years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, top sportspeople, examples, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with strong principles … however all remained silent. We scarcely made eye contact, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|